I was born in the Netherlands to a Bolivian mom and a half Dutch and half Indonesian dad. When I was little, we moved a lot as a family - besides the Netherlands, I've lived on and off in Bolivia, Kenya, and the UK. Having lived on other continents for most of my life, I dreamt of moving back to Europe to continue my career. I imagined how I would be traveling in the trains, walking the streets in Europe...I could really see it happening.
To be honest, I knew it would be tough to start from scratch. It wasn't the first time I was doing that. Yet, it was the first time I'd do it on my own. I was out of my comfort zone, and every setback meant a double challenge. I had to figure out how to arrange my life in a new environment. So the smallest errands felt like a big mission.
To add to this, when I moved to the Netherlands, I was embarrassed that I didn't speak the language even though I’m Dutch. So I promised myself: I'd only reply in Dutch when talking to the locals. And part of that promise was that I’d not find refuge in the Spanish speaking community. Because of that, for the first six months, I barely spoke to people at all...
I started feeling isolated, lonely, but I didn't realize why. It took me a while to figure out how much we depend on human interaction, let alone when moving to a new country. Only when I allowed myself to make mistakes, I finally dared to speak Dutch. The rest is history. It's been 18 years and counting and I can now say that I feel like a local and every now and then I still feel a like an international, which is fine. This is who I am!
